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[tqatsju]

10.) the umpire was jealous of keith's friends with benefits relationship with Bob. Not to mention envious of Bob's new Flyers jersey, bought by his gentleman lover...keith
9.) Johnny G said don't egg him on, but the umpire actually thought he said "chopper, sick balls"
8.) Johnny G said don't egg him on, but the umpire thought he said, "no eggs from now on" and he really likes eggs
7.) After yelling at him for five minutes, the umpire recalled the abuse he received as a child. Abuse that would haunt him in his later years. Anytime anyone yells at him all he pictures is his dad's shiny belt glistening in the air and his mother screaming not the butt plug again.
6.) The ump knew that if he threw us all out of the game, later on in the evening he would be able to feast on 15 pizzas and 3 big buckets of general tso's chicken, not too mention cheesy bread...mmmm cheesy bread...also he would have 3 rides waiting to bring him own after a satisfying meal
5.) Where the fuck was the old man?
4.) when keith told the ump to suck his dick the umpire kind of blew it off. But when keith decided to gyrate, grab his dick and pretend he was in a 1970's porno with John Holmes and Dirk Diggler, blue reconsidered and tossed everyone...
3.) Johnny Mac let Hulkamania run wild
2.) Everyone started to calm down, but Glee decided to break out into a lively rendition of Alicia Bridges - I love the Night Life which brought the house down, but also got us kicked out....no one appreciates good talent these days....
1.) We're rhawnhurst scumbags

[Mr.Umpire]

10)Juddy would not have been able to make it the next week as TEMPLE accepted offer to play Lincoln in a Turkey Bowl tune-up
9)Cassidy's kids are old enough to realize he cant be getting cats out of trees every Sunday
8)Quinny's love child with the handi-capped girl is due anyday.
7)Johnny G. is due to switch hair colors since the winter is upon us
6)Keith refuses to miss another all you can eat brunch at THE HOLE
5)After 10 wks.of only getting half shit faced KWOLF will get 100% shit faced this week
4)Braun is scheduled for shin implant surgery...Much like the ols man on "KING OF THE HILL" Braun is not really a midget, he was merely born without shins..Looking foward to playing next year with the taller 5'2 Braun.
3)Denofa can now devote full time to his ballroom dancing classes for his upcoming wedding....
2)Joe W. can now go do his cover shot for Gambler's Digest
1) And the main reason were not repeating is the God of Softball does not reward a team of no shows...Christenings,Weddings,Bar Mitzpahs,Birthdays,Vacations etc NOTHING---repeat---NOTHING is more important than SOFTBALL