VanillaAfro.com

[Lono]

1.) Cassidy to Denofa's voicemail several minutes before a game:

"You and your love of Rod Stewart just ruined the softball season!"

(In his infinite managerial wisdom, Coach Cassidy then proceeds to spike his cell phone on the ground.)


2.) August 21st, 2004 (???):

Full Moon 2 acquires RHP, Keith.



Keep it goin'.....
_________________
"I blame that Minnie Matrone. She's a malignant cunt!"

-Paulie Walnuts

[Guest]

3.) Bobby balls out swallows a ball in the outfield, bringing on a gush of blood worthy of a Nightmare on Elm Street movie

4.) Dobb hangs up the cleats after one uneventful game

5.) Smitty commits the most errors in first base history

6.) Quinn tags home plate in the first force out every recorded on a play with runners at 2nd and 3rd **Not Full Moon 2 but i had to bust my own balls**

7.) Winnie is branded by the softball writers of America as the worst softball player of this century, narrowly escaping the millenium because softball was not invented until the 1900's.

8.) After giving up 10 runs in one inning, Yank smokes enough weed to kill an elephant

9.) Joe Dawgs is announced by PA announcer Dan Baker as official team mascot

10.) Tony is not there leaving the team in a state of fasting that even Ghandi wouldn't go for.

[JCa$$]

11. Gene wears hot pants.
12. Gene wears hot pants for the team he played for in the clink.
13. Keith gives it to Quinny deep and hard in Keith's station wagon between games.
14. Game 1 batting 3rd, DH JCa$$.
15. A breathalizer determines once and for all that McKeever's B.A.C. is indeed higher than his OB%.
16. DSparks shatters a Gatorade bottle and stabs Umpire Acey-Ducey to death with a shard of plastic.
17. Joe Wolf wins Rite Aid's, "Customer of the Year."
18. Tony wins league's, "Best Dressed Asian," award thrice.
19. DNA tests confirm that Dennis Ulmer is in fact Wee Willie Keeler.
20. Keith wears pants for an entire Sunday.
_________________
"It was a group grope..."
-Carpie, to Bob Crane