VanillaAfro.com

[Smitty the Greek]

Full Moon 2007 Spring Softball Odds and Prop Bets

**The odds reflect a 20 game regualr season**

Will Full Moon 2 be champions of the "Philly league"
Yes -110
No -110

Will Full Moon 2 beat Full Moon 1 in both games
Yes -220
No +200
Split -140

Will the Full Moon 2 roster include the oldest man in the league
Yes -1100000
No +1300000
*Please note that if Johnny G. dies of natural causes in the offseason, this will be deemed a "no bet"

Will Fat Jack make a comeback and play for FM2
No -640
Yes +560

If yes, how much weight will Jack lose in the pregame warm-up throws
Over 37.5 lbs. -120
Under 37.5 lbs. +100
*Jack must be standing during pre-game toss for this to count

Will Jack arrive by way of the "fat copter"
Yes -200
No +180

If no, will Justin drop him off
Yes -140
No +120

How many people thought I was gonna say a Justin joke next
Everyone -100000
No one +100000

Games played by Yank
Over 1.5 -120
Under 1.5 +100

Number of games Yank's girlfriend or family is brought up
Over 19.5 -120
Under 19.5 +100

Games played in by Dob
Under .5 -700
Over .5 +900

Number of different Wolf's who will play in a game this season
Over 4.5 -120
Under 4.5 +100
*Please note that Chase Wolf counts as a whole person

Times that Keith will plead with Joe to let Jenny Wolf or Chase Wolf play first instead of Smitty
Once a game -330
Never +300

Dennis v. Keith Patterson in a "dance off"
Dennis -400
Keith +360

Will Dennis make the post-season roster
No -110
Yes -120

After how many games will Keith go to the full moon and do the following:
Expose himself, chase fake chickens, imitate doing exercises (because we all know that the only he is going to exercise is to entertain everybody), box quinny, kiss a guy, and get drunk
All 10 weeks -16000
Less than 10 +14000

Will a full moon moon player shit himself during actual game play
Yes -480
No +400

If yes, will the player be :
Keith -1100
field +1000

Will said player dispose of his underwear or keep it as a souveniour?
Keep it -1000
Dispose +900

Will Quinny pitch at least one ball in actual game play
Yes -200
No +180

Will McKeever pitch at least one ball inactual game play
Yes -200
No +180
*I could of tricked you all with this one, I was ofcourse referring to golf and hard-ons not softball!*

Number of "gay ass" songs that will be sung on the bench during a game this season.
Over 3.5 -120
Under 3.5 +100
*please note that Whitesnake's "Here I go again" is exempt. I am looking for songs by artists like Kelly Clarkson, The Fray, Jewel, etc..

Will Dennis Sparks be the one to start all these songs
Yes -600
No +500

Highest number of fans that will attend a given game (not including playoffs...like it would matter)
Under 2.5 -220
Over 2.5 +200 (Come on Stef, Chase, and Jack..I am betting the over)

Games played by Kevin Wolf either drunk or hungover
Over 20.5 -900
Under 20.5 +800
*You are probably asking yourself how the number could be higher than 20. I have taken into account the following scenario: Kev will drink sooo much after a game one time that he will wake up Monday morning still in his uniform and show up at the field thinking he has a game.

A Trash can will win the gold glove at both 1st base and RCF
Yes -300
No +270

Who will commit more errors at first base
Smitty -120
Trash Can +100

FM2 will actually play the 1996 Chicago Bulls:
No -220
Yes +200
No, because the former Bull's players are relentless in asking our LCF for his autograph that it is impossible to get an actual game in...gag! +40000

Number of errors commited by Juddy b/c he has made the simple play and instead guns the ball to first or third
Over 22.5 -140
Under 22.5 +120

Number of errors that are blamed on Smitty as a result
Over 22.5 -140
Under 22.5 +120

Nicest and most encouraging player on the team:
Glea -1400
Brian Wolf -1200
Mike Braun -800
Denofa -200
Quinny (in a good mood) -160
Smitty +120
Cass +140
Dennis Sparks +300
Juddy +600
Keith +1000
Kev. Wolf +1100
Joe Wolf +3100
Johnny G. +1000000
Tom Quinn (in a bad mood) +100000000000

Number of times Smitty will say "see ya" at the plate
Over 7.5 -120
Under 7.5 +100

Number of times Cass will say "see ya" and go home (to his house)
Over 5.5 -120
Under +100

Keith's first pitch of the season will be
A Ball -1700
A Strike +1500

*Quinny will utter to Keith, "Give it to me deep and hard"
Yes -220
No +200

**Keith will thrust his hips toward the opposing batter over and over and finally pitch the ball
Yes -400
No +360

***Keith will bitch that his pathetic underhand toss is called a ball
Yes -300
No +280

The first fielding play of the season will
Be an Error -140
Played perfectly for an out +120

Keith will bitch at Smitty after the first play of the season no matter who caught the ball or where it was hit
Yes -120
No +100

Joe Wolf and Kevin Wolf will also start arguing after the play no matter who caught the ball or where it was hit
Yes -220
No +200

After the first play Cassidy will be half asleep under his quilted poncho
Yes -400
No +360

By the time the first ball is put into play Keith will of exposed his ass and genitals
Over 7.5 times -130
Under 7.5 times +110

At some point in the season Joe Wolf, Kev Wolf, and Brian Wolf will be fighting one another at the same time
Yes -220
No +200

At some point in the season this scenario will transpire:
Glea will burst out like the guy they talk about in Goodfellas and Johnny G. will shrewdly tell him "shut up, you're always talkin!"
It will happen -140
It will not happen +120

If said scenario occurs, Quinny will remind Johnny that, "It sounds much nicer in Italian"
Yes -600
No +540

Who has a best chance at a good run this season
Full Moon 2 softball -300
Barbaro +1800
Fat Jack losing weight +4000
Full Moon 1 +7000

The gayest uniform award will go to
Dennis Ulmer at Jack's Christmas party (Checkerboard sweater) -4000
Full Moon 1 "Paid in Fuggazi" shirts -500
Full Moon 2 "Purple Barney" shirts +200

Rides Denofa will give to "Acey Ducey".
Over 6.5 -120
Under 6.5 +100

Will Dennis Sparks assault an umpire
Yes -330
No +270

Double plays that Keith will hit into in clutch situations
Over 15 -120
Under 15 +100

Double plays Smitty will hit into in clutch situations
**Taken off the board by gaming commision b/c clearly there can be no line for under zero**

Average number of bats brought to each game
Under 2.5 -300
Over 2.5 +240

Will Quinny break another bat
Yes -200
No +180

Amount of money Full Moon 2 will spend at the bar on Sundays during the season
Over $57500 -130
Under $57500 +110
*Total includes beer and the price of the Lasik eye surgery most of the team had to endure from squinting to watch the TV's Dennis has at the bar
**Also, why I am at it.... Thanks for the new bat Dennis and allowing us to rip our friends off with the highest priced beef and beer of my entire life where all you served was Spam and Bush beer. In the words of Joe W., "You arwe the biggest, fucking joke bar owner in the whole Northeast.


<><>Please feel free to make your bets.... more props to follow..I am tired and believe it or not I did this once already and fuckin deleted it before I could post it and I had way better prop bets before!<><>

[OLDMAN]

please Mr.greek are we gonna have are incredibly talented fall team in the philly lge?That team can compete anywhere...If were referring to that collection of misfits co.patterson usually trots out there I d expect yet another barely .500 season..So please use any extra money left over from the beef/beer ....cutting Denis...pay cutting DH only Smitty...fining Keith for again coming in way over weight and offer ROGAINE laden contracts to JUDDY---DeNofa Shoe lifts for TINY Johnny Mac A HUGE bed /bath and beyound certificate for a new afghan for J CASS....Give M.Braun Ben Johnson's gold medal for 100 yd.dash He's clearly the fastest man alive... And I personally could use some Clairol Golden Brown --just for pubes and armpits---Thanks