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[tqatsju]

10.) Smitty's injury
9.) The higher ups in the softball league did not put Bruce Froemming in as ump in the championship game, citing his intense hatred for anything full moon related and more importantly......an empty drawer of tube socks.
8.) embattled veteran, Johnny G comes out of retirement to add life, vitality and enough comic relief to distract the Wolf brothers for 3 minutes or so...enough time to prevent them from tearing each other to bits
7.) JCass in his battle against obesity gets numerous hits throughout the playoffs and when his fat-itis is under control, he plays a pretty mean outfield. This was demonstrated in the championship game where he ate...err...made the final 3 plays
6.) Quinny's humility
5.) newcomer Mike Braun (unrelated to the Brawny paper towel guy, note the u)....Made some spectacular plays in the outfield, including a huge diving stop against "Lower Bucks You copulate we ovulate fertility clinic"
4.) Fomer traitor and rumor has it double agent terrorist spy, Johnny Mac terrorized Full Moon's opponents with spectacular play at shortstop, including threats to imposing team pitchers that went something like this, "Walk Me!!....or Allah will crush you and your family...even beloved Uncle John"
3.) After getting to 6-4 by virtue of forfeit by Steve's Forfeiture and repo depot, Full Moon softball goes on a monumental tear of Canada, cleaning house in Quebec, Montreal and even the hated tundra of Saskatchewan to claim a number 3 spot in the playoffs
2.) up 4-2 with only 1 out in the 7th inning of a semi-final playoff game, pitcher Keith Patterson shuts the door on Bob and Ron's orthopedic health club clinching a spot for Full Moon in the finals
1.) After a crushing 13-12 defeat and a 7-0 deficit in game 3 of the softball finals, Jim "Judd(y)" Kennedy" hits an electrifying 3 run homer sparking a 10+ run rally to overtake Marty's Bail Bonds and pawn shop liquidator super store to win the Canadian softball championship

[Smitty Champ]

10) After constantly losing to all domestic bar league teams, full moon managed to whip all the competition that the United States' Hat had to offer (thats Canada for all you geograpic retards out there) and also earned early entry into the Cuban international spring league where the games can only be got to with a police escort by ferry!

9) A terrific book keeping job by Brian Wolf. (He may of made a mistake or two ragarding Smitty's hits but that is about it)

The team rallied aroung Johnny G., because of his emotional and uplifting encouragement throughout the playoff games.

"Infield make a play" - Thanks for the tip, John.

"Outfield come up to the ball" - They probably would of stood there and played with their dick until the ball fell at their feet if it wasn't for you!

"Two outs doesn't mean anything, we need three you assholes!" - Well since you are the inventor of syllabic sounds, which eventually led to words, which led to sentences, which led to John's son Abner DoubleDay G. usind words and sentences to form organized rules of baseball which were adopted by ASA softball, we are glad you remined us!!!

7) A weekly Wolf brother spat as well as a Wolf Smitty spat as well as a Wolf Keith spat as well as another Wolf brother spat

6) Clutch hitting by the entire team not just the first baseman (And that is Smitty for all you wise asses getting ready to thank clown ass Glea for all his hit support.... lucky prick!)

5) Top ten lists of how we are going whip gay, ass "Paid in Half".. i mean full moon 1 in a softball duel upon which we will be refered to as Full Moon number 1 and they will be called "the bunch of losers of chose to play on a softball team ran by a Bob's Big Boy look-a-like mother fucker named Joe Mangino"

4) So ball breakers like Judd, Johnny G., Wolf, Dennis, and Smitty, would say kind, gentle things to one another since we were so glad we won the championship.......so I said Keith still sucks, sue me!...

3) We came together like a real team!

---When we were ahead in each of the games we really supported one another, when we fell behind, we pointed out each other's weaknesses and dwelled on them until we again took the lead-- A real championship organization!!!

2) We don't play for the Route 1, which is up for second place for least attended bar by a girl in the state of Pennsylvania...you know who has the gold!!

***1) Keith Patterson's pitching!!!


***Special side note, this number 1 was interchangeable in Smitty's top ten reasons we lost the championship!*** Just kidding!!

----Great season everyone...see you next spring to complain about my spot in the lineup and complaining about keith suggesting i rotate with Glea, Dennis, Floody, Gene, Balls Out, Tony, Gene's girl with big ass, Tony's dog, Yank, Dobb, Johnny G's son, Johnny G's great grandson (that is Dennis Ulmer for all you who don't know), Fat Jack, Rock, Stef Kiefer, and anyone else who decides to show up to the game and want to "share" first base with me!!!!!!!! clown manager!!!

***********Smitty Out*********Post bitches****************

[Wolf]

Great season boys. I always knew we had the talent to to do something special. We just needed a couple more pieces, which Glea, John G., & Braun supplied nicely. But without our core group of Cass, Smitty, DeNofa, Keith, K. Wolf, Juddy, J. Mac, Sparks, Quinny, & myself; none of this would have been possible! We finally got our championship cherry popped, but I got a good feeling we're gonna be championship softball whores for the next 15-20 years!

I'll have a real elaborate post later in the week when this fantastic moment sinks in. Right now, I'm still just on cloud 9! But, I will make one quick comment about Matthew's post. "STEPH KIEFER?!?!?!?" Her name is Stephanie Lagomarsino! I'm pretty sure you were just bustin' my balls. But, let me make this perfectly clear: IF HER LAST NAME WAS "KIEFER", I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HER ALREADY SIMPLY JUST TO GET RID OF THAT LAST NAME AND GIVE HER A REAL ONE! However, since her last name is Lagomarsino, I don't have to marry her & officially start the next 40 years of misery for me. Aren't I miserable enough without a ball & chain bustin' my balls day in & day out, day in & day out, DAY IN & DAY OUT...... FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!!! JESUS, WHAT A NIGHTMARE!

** LATE SPOILER NOTICE **

Steph, if you somehow come across this post, obviously I am 100% kidding! The only person who could benefit from us not getting married would be YOU, so you would still have a chance of being sane 10 years from now!

[CK1]

I gotta believe that if Joe and Steph got married, they would mutually decide on a different last name on account of them both having silly last names.



*****SPOILER ALERT*****



The new last name: UTLEY

[Elementary School]

Smitty, we thought we made it perfectly clear when we told you that "would've" it a contraction for "would have," and not "would of."

[Wolf]

LOL. Thanks for putting forth your two cents Mr. Klein. When does the new fragrance hit stores?

[Tommy Hilfiger]

Hey Calvin! I have been trying to get a hold of you for a while. I have a big surprise for you. I know a very important guy over at Home Box Office. And I know how big of a fan of The Wire you are, so I asked him for an advanced copy of the entire Season 4 disc set (all the episodes shown and yet to be seen.) I can feel your erection from here, Calvin! I wanted to have you over the house for some tea & crumpets, and just sit back on my love seat with you and just enjoy the pure greatness of The Wire. And if you like, you could invite this guy "Lono" to come over with you. I'm sure we could fit him on the two-seater with us! And if we have some time leftover, maybe we could "rewatch season 6" of the Sopranos too. I may develop a deeper apreciation after a complete, uninterupted watch. Well, get back to me ASAP! And good luck with the new fragrances this Holiday season! Your boy, Tommy!

[Axl Rose]

Fuck you Tommy! You are a still a bitch. I should of whipped your ass that night in the club if it wasn't for my gunt getting in the way.


Also, whoever was smitty's elementray school teacher, he apologizes because he was on a nightrain in paradise city on his way to the jungle so just be patient and his next post will be more grammatically correct b/c he knows his readership is vast with intelegience!

[Spolier Notice]

I am being overused and also in a comedic manner, thus people will stop respecting my notice and moving on to the next text and this could become devastating!!!

[CK1]

You's gotta check this out. I'm sure this will end whatever career KKKramer had left. Enjoy.

http://us.video.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=1&pmmsid=1772645

[Wolf]

Maybe i'm missing something, but I don't understand a word of the "Axl Rose" post. It's like a different language to me. But, like I said, I'm probably missing something since it must of been done by someone really, really smart.

[CK1]

I'm pretty sure it was Smitty, and it was an entirely good-natured reference to a fist-fight that Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger had at a night club. I'm also sure that, in typical Joe Wolf fashion, you somehow construed it as a personal attack on you.

[Lorraine]

Axel I'm so glad you're on this message board, can you finally tell me if your song "Night Train" was named after me?

[Axl Rose]

Axl is spelled Axl not "Axel" like a car..... but in reply to lorraine i did in fact write the lyrics to you to various references that you should be able to get see for youself:

I'm on the nightrain
Bottoms up -----hmmm.. bottoms up?
I'm on the nightrain
Fill my cup ------- fill my c u p??? hmmm...
I'm on the nightrain
Ready to crash and burn
I never learn --------- i'll never learn to stop drinkg so
I'm on the nightrain much that you become good looking
I love that stuff
I'm on the nightrain --------- see you next week b/c you are a slut
I can never get enough
I'm on the nightrain ------------- yeah right til next saturday with you
Never to return-no and bobby!

[Wolf]

NO! Actually I never heard of the fist fight between the two, which is probably why I didn't get the reference. At no point did I think it had anything to do with me, I was just trying to get the humor. However, I do realize that most of your assumptions are pretty retarded.

[CK1]

I thought it was a safe assumption since, up to that point, this entire thread had been good natured ball-breaking, but for some reason you got shitty about it after that post. I stand corrected.

[Wolf]

Maybe I'm dumb, but I don't understand your last post at all. I got "shitty" after Smitty's Axl Rose post? First of all, I didn't even know it was Smitty. And second, I didn't even understand it, so how could I act "shitty" or take it as a "personal attack?" Anyway, I am officially finished with this message board girl bickering!

[CK1]

That works out well since you were the only one bickering. Perfect.

[quinny]

so what...who cares

[CK1]

Shut the f**k up, Quinny. Stay out of this.



Just kidding. I better be, or else you might take a bottle to me like you did the night the Eagles beat the Falcons in the NFC championship.