VanillaAfro.com

[Lono]

A happy and healthy Christmas to all members of the Vanilla Afro family.
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"I blame that Minnie Matrone. She's a malignant cunt!"

-Paulie Walnuts

[Smitty Claus]

Merry Christmas to all and even if you are jewish have a Merry Christmas because Christmas trumps your weak ass holiday eventhough you have 8 days ours is still better... Merry Christmas

[tqatsju]

and as I say every year....Happy Friggin' Kwaanza

[Keith Patterson]

Smitty Claus. I know I am a little late, since it is almost 11:00 pm Christmas Night. And your probably busy finishing up your deliveries in like Melbourne, Australia or something But, I was wondering something. You know how your parents would always say something to the effect of "Old St. Nick catches everything you do, whether naughty or nice." Well, if he doesn't miss anything, how come Smitty Claus led all 1st basemen in Bucks County in errors?

[bad smitty claus]

Unfriggin real...here it is Christmas time and I am just trying to spread some glee (And no, not that person who shares my first baseman rotation with me because of your clown beliefs) and I have to defend myself... I admit that when I started playing softball I was good for an error or two or three a game... I might of had five the whole season and that in my selfish mind is high balling it... Keep chasing fake chickens in the off season so you can remain in excellent condition to pitch in a pathetic, underhand, fat bellied, bar league softball league outside the US while I will surely be there to get non-stop hits whether I can run to first base or not b/c it really didn't matter through the course of the playoffs... I am wondering now if it is possible to take back my merry wishes to you and instead provide you with a gift....a mirror so that you may observe your own pathetic life taking place right before your eyes..... OUT!

[Wolf]

"A mirror so that you may observe your own pathetic life taking place right before your eyes." Isn't this statement a little harsh, Smitty Claus? You are obviously much better at fielding 1st base than you are given credit for. But, most of the comments made about your glove are said in jest. You were one of the main reasons we won the championship this season. Your non-stop, line-drive hitting performance in the championship is stuff of legend. So, I hope this post cheers you up a little, because your last post had a touch of miserableness. And the Full Moon Softball Team is only permitted to have one miserable player on its team. And that unmentioned bitter player happens to frequent our outfield somewhere in the left-center vicinity! So, Smitty Claus, please stay in good spirits and be ready to defend our crown that you so heroically help us to claim! And, please end the bad blood with our jolly pitcher. Thank you and good luck in 07.

P.S. Surprisingly it was me, and not Keith, who left that post. But, not that I am Charles Dickens or anything, but I don't think Keith could even type anything close to a coherent sentence. In fact, he’s so obtuse that he may not even know how to turn his computer on. (I didn’t want to offend him if he came across this post, which is why I had to use a bigger word that he obviously doesn’t know the meaning of.) My point being that I thought that would be a good enough clue to you that he obviously didn't write that post.

[Lono]

Honest to God, I had no idea that my wishing everybody a happy Christmas would somehow turn into a referendum on Smitty's fielding and a scathing attack on Keith's intellect.
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"I blame that Minnie Matrone. She's a malignant cunt!"

-Paulie Walnuts

[Fence]

Smitty, every time you miss a ball I get older and rustier

[Wolf]

The only thing Smitty uses more than the fence is his 10 gallon container of hair gel!

[smitty champ]

Okay I apologize for my remarks, they were a bit harsh.... However, I am glad that softball talk has once again resumed in the end of December, so good has come out of all this.... oh and fuck the fence, I don't need him!! (unless Johnny Mac is throwing the ball)

[bin laden]

come home my son

[1995 Cowboys]

Johnny Mac is the equivalent of Alvin Harper to the '94 Cowboys. A nice player who contributed to a championship. But meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Like the Cowboys, we will repeat as champions WITH or WITHOUT him!

[JCa$$]

By obtuse, do you guys mean Keith is fat?
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"It was a group grope..."
-Carpie, to Bob Crane

[Wolf]

I'm writing now just to keep the thread going. This site was dead for a while, but this week it was full of fantastic, sarcarstic insults. Know what I was thinking. We should get sweatshirts for our championship. I could use a XXXL Purple sweatshirt in my wardrobe. I know its only softball, but people get sweatshirts/jackets for everything. My brother Kev has a Rhawnhurst Cafe Shuffleboard championship jacket! And we can't get a sweatshirt for not only finally having a winning record for the first time in team history, but going all the way to the championship & WINNING IT! I've heard Jack mention doing this for us (and I love Jack), but he's probably the most nigger rich man living in NE Philadelphia. Maybe if we had a $295.99 per ticket Beef 'N Beer (players must pay too), Dennis Elmer would get us sheatshirts. But honestly, if we collected like $20 from each guy, maybe Dennis/Jack would pick up the rest of the tab. What could sweatshirts cost? Maybe $40 per sweatshirt. We may never win another championship again (we also may never win another game again, but lets keep this positive), so we have to remember it in some way. Well, anyway, back to the insults. Did I mention how meaningless Johnny Mac is to our team & how smooth Smitty is with a glove and a hair brush? I guess I already did. Oh well. We still have Quinny!!!!!!!

[Dennis Elmer]

I don't think this is a very good idea. Maybe instead we could melt down some old pool trophies and make a gold glove award for Smitty so he feels better. But seriously, you guys wouldn't want sweatshirts. They would undoubtedly shrink in the wash, and most of your guys have enough trouble fitting into xxxl as it is. More importantly, though, there is no way I am paying for sweatshirts. And since Fat Jack is 'nigga-rich,' maybe he and I could contribute towards championship oversized white T-shirts. They seem to be popular.

[K.Wolf]

I agree with my brother on getting sweatshirts for being champions!!!! I know the owner at All-American and I just got alot of shit there for my basketball team and he only charged my head coach $20 per a sweatshirt. I think if we can gather up about 10-15 guys, that he will give us sweatshirts for $20-$25 (if we wanted our position on the sleeves....lol lol lol)....But I don't think sweatshirts come in XXXXXXXL for Fat Jack!!!!!!!!

[K.Wolf]

Also, where is our team picture?????????????? Let's go Quinny!!!!!!!!!!