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[J. Wolf]

This post is NOT at all intended to be funny! I am being dead serious. Keith Patterson is absolutely pathetic at organizing & running a softball team! But this shouldn’t be a surprise to me or any of us, because of the fact that he is a moron! In fact, he is probably the dumbest person that any of us personally know (again, I’m not kidding! Think about it. Most of the people I know are either very smart, somewhat smart, or of average intelligence. But, I really don’t know too many people who I would consider dumb! Like, stupid as shit! But, Keith Patterson is not just kind of dumb, he’s VERY DUMB! But, that’s OK! He’s got an electric, one-of-a-kind personality & everybody who knows him really likes him! That’s a great attribute to have! He’s the life of any party he attends. But, the kid is a straight retard! Case closed! Not up for debate! 100% D-U-M-B!!!

Anyway, back to the every day operations of the Full Moon softball team! First and foremost, WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE A BEEF & BEER AT ALL????? Could someone please answer that for me? I thought the idea of being sponsored by a bar to play in a bar softball league meant that they paid the entrance fee!! And, in return, we come back to their bar after every game and SPEND $$$$$$$ there!! Is there any flaw in that thinking? Brilliant Keith may respond by saying, “Well…. we need a new bat!” OK genius, then we’ll just collect $20 a piece from every player on the team and buy a new bat! Seems simple enough to me!! Or, he might say, “Well…. this league is more expensive to play in, so Dennis wants us to have a Beef & Beer to pay for some of it! OK, then we’ll play in the cheaper city league that we've played in before!! Also, seems very simple to me! Not to mention, Jack splits the entry fee for us with Dennis, so it isn’t like Dennis is responsible for the whole entry fee! He's just a very cheap man, who like to take advatage of feeble-minded people, like Keith!

Or, here’s another idea! If Keith wants to make some money for a bat & jerseys, he could have a little get together at his house. Invite everyone from the team & anyone else who would like to come, and charge $20 a person to drink all day (NOT JUST FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS THE WAY DENNIS DOES IT!) Also, Fuck Dennis! If he had this at his house instead of the Moon, then we are cutting out the middle man: CHEAP ASS DENNIS ELMER!!! WHY SHOULD HE PROFIT OFF OF THIS, when he already makes a ton from us every single Sunday? All Keith would have to do is buy a few kegs, which would cost about $250. Then have, let’s say, 50 people there (which isn’t too hard when we have 15 guys on our team to start!!) And, that would equal $1000! Minus the $250 that it cost for the kegs, and Keith would be left with $750 to spend on our softball team! He could buy 2 bats & pay for our jerseys with that money!!! AGAIN, SEEMS SIMPLE ENOUGH!!!

Also, to save some money, we could all just wear the same shirts that we wore last fall! I’m sure everyone still has their shirt. And, SixSmiths still has our shirts on their press, so we could have 1 or 2 made up for any new member or if someone lost their shirt! WE DID WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP IN THOSE BEAUTIFUL PURPLE SHIRTS! So, if it ain’t broke, why fix it! Also, I like the idea of keeping the same colors so other teams start to identify us with our colors. If we keep winning, then other teams will just know the Moon always wears purple! (Even though I hate Penny Gardens softball team, they ALWAYS wear green shirts! I like that idea. They don’t change colors, because they are champions in green & everyone knows that!)

Well, I just thought I would bounce some ideas off the wall. If anyone else has any other ideas, please post them. But, the point is, we have to start doing the thinking for our team because RIGHT NOW, our team is run by a mentally-challenged simpleton!!

[Smitty Coach]

Keith has told me that he intends to sell these beef and beer tickets for $25 each and expects us to sell 5 which is a total of $125 per person which most of us may have to eat in the end b/c the beef and bar is for softball team members at an unusual which I personally like but not sure many people will feel inclined to drop $25 a man to drink between 2-6pm. With these prices in mind, our team wil generate around $1500 give or take a few dollars and I agree for what.... We need to be sponsored in fully by Dennis for this league or we shop our services elsewhere. I also need to know 100% confirmed that we are required to sell five tickets and produce $125 b/c I will feel inclinded to pay that amoutn regardless if I sell the tickets and will then assume EVERYONE is following suit. This was why we played for Route one and bounced back and forth...We need a new bat or whatever is real fucking easy and I mean real easy...You pay X amount of dollars before the first game or you don't play until that money is paid....NO QUESTIONS asked..we are actually somewhat good now and I don't suppose this would be a problem. This topic has always bothered me b/c I know other teams are treated better and are expected to do even less then we do. I'll use the weekday team I play on and also the other Full Moon team which is also sponsored by Dennis and we are lucky if we see 4 or 5 guys a week comeback and that is during football season too!!! Now, I do not want to trash Keith too bad (Wow did you ever expect me to say that) but we do need to step our rap up here a little bit and start telling Dennis what is up and also tellign our team if we have to. I definitely think we need a couple good bats and a new jersey would be nice (I am totally down for sticking to the color schematics but have the inverted colors in the summer league) and really I do expect a new shirt every year! These are not unreasonable requests and I feel this whole 5 tickets a man thing needs to be reevaluated and at least talked about in a sincere and serious manner. WE ARE DOING THE BAR A FAVOR BY PLAYING FOR THEM!!!!!!! I do not want to talk to another bar or suggest that for one big reason (No pun intended..lol) Jack Cranage but something does need to be done!
Thoughts??
--Smitty Out
(at home after crushing an easy homer and getting caught at the plate)

[Keith the Genius]

Smitty, Methinks thou wouldst prefer the company of another's barkeep come the Lord's days the Ides of March passed. Thou sayest I am a retard. I shalt retort, 'Go Fuck Thyself, Smitty!'

[Metro-Sexual Wolf]

Smitty, that was my EXACT plan for our jerseys too! I was going to order 15 shirts from SixSmiths and tell them we wanted the same look, but with inverse colors. (Yellow shirts, with purple writing outlined in white!!!) I thought that would look great! But, I think Keith has already ordered our shirts without talking to anyone! This definitely means no outline! Now, that might not seem like a big deal, but think back on our past jerseys. Like the baby blue ones with yellow script! They were OK, but our purple ones had the white outlining surrounding the yellow writing! IT REALLY LOOKS A LOT BETTER THAT WAY! Without the outlining, it looks very plain and generic! So, why wouldn’t Keith order new shirts with the outlining? Because it costs $5 more per shirt! WHO CARES???? That’s an extra $60….. That’s It! Does anyone really care about $5???? I certainly don’t. I’m not saying we need to spend $30-$40 per shirt. I just like having a professional, nice looking t-shirt to play in! And while, I’m sure, Keith ordered the cheapest version (which is like $12 per shirt), why not just pay $17 per shirt for a MUCH BETTER VERSION??

Also, I doubt he ordered the colors we want, Smitty! He is so PLAIN & ORDINARY, that he probably ordered gray shirts with black writing! (Or something very boring along those lines! I can only imagine how great our shirts would look in Yellow with purple writing (surrounded by white outlining!) But, we’ll have to deal with Keith’s pathetic decision (because why would he call me to go with him!) I think he is still mad that I went without him in the fall to design our purple shirts! And, even though everyone had their little jokes about the color, EVERYONE loved the look and quality of our fall shirts! But, whatever! In the end, it doesn’t really matter! I just thought we could springboard off of our championship win and keep the same colors for years & years! (while just changing how we use those colors – like yellow in the spring & maybe black with purple writing surrounded with yellow outlining!) But, that’s genius Keith for ya!