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[K.Wolf]

Some people thought the legend of niggers, Dennis Autry, was long gone....but, on August 1st he has returned!!!!!!!! I have spotted him at Solly Playground watching his son play football for the Rhawnhurst Raiders. He was saying he can't wait til the building is up so he can continue with his league. Ha ha ha!!!!!! I told him that Joe Wolf will make an appearance at some point in the season. He was so glad (who wouldn't be)!!!!!

[J. Wolf]

You know someone has to be a great & wise man when he is, without a doubt, the only spook in the Rhawnhurst limits that I not only greatly respect, but adamantly adore! In fact, he is the only spear-chucker in the neighborhood that doesn’t make me instantly sick to my stomach to just see him! I would be proud to call Dennis Autry my father. The man single-handily brought more African animals to the Rhawnhurst area in only 2 summers than have ever step foot in the neighborhood the preceding 100 years! He saw an almost completely Caucasian section of NE Philly & decided to sprinkle about 200 of the most foulest-smelling, zoo-like creatures imaginable!

Dennis Autry is a leader of men! The man talks about his HUGE cock size one on one with a young teenage Brian Wolf. Some might see that interaction as disturbing, but Coach Autry was just trying to teach lil’ Brian to think BIG! The charismatic, but very ignorant & dumb legend can’t even pronounce a simple word clearly like “soda!” When he ask for one, he says, “Yo lil’ Brian Wolf, go across the street to Emilio’s Pizza and get me a couple of “Soders!” Some may view this as stupid, but I think he was just trying to teach us all a very valuable lesson: Don’t be a follower… Be a leader! Don’t just follow everyone else and call it a “soda.” Be a leader and call the soft drink anything you like (even if no one…. not even anyone from your very ignorant & brainless animal-like race…. can understand what the fuck you are saying!)

But, on a more serious note, the man (for some reason) loved the Wolf’s. His Rhawnhurst summer basketball league had like 12 teams in it (11 full of monkeys & 1 team of white kids – Us!) Kevin, Stephen, & Me (back when I used to be pretty good at ball.) And although Dennis ran the entire league, he chose to become head coach of just 1 of the 12 teams – Us! I don’t know exactly how it happened. He just came over to our huddle uninvited one time, listened in, then interrupted us & designed a play. We all looked at each & thought, “What the fuck is this stupid-ass nigger doing or saying?” But, after that one play call, the rest just came natural for Coach Autry. He loved us white kids like we were his own sons from some white skank he banged in the early 80’s! He didn’t see the color of our skin….. he saw the fire in our eyes! He saw the fire that we wanted to beat all of the “outsiders” that infiltrated our neighborhood like hundreds of cockroaches. He saw a fire in our eyes very similar to that of a blazing cross burning on his own front lawn right after he moved to Rhawnhurst!

We didn’t win it all that year (we lost a heartbreaker in the Semi’s), but we won something much more valuable than a championship—A life-long mentor & friend. As we sat as a team after our tough 3 point loss in the semi’s, Coach Autry looked us all square in the eyes and said, “Great effort guys! Not bad for a buncha’ honkeys!” I still get a tear in my eye to this day just thinking about it!